Article 2 - The Pitfalls of Online Relationships
The search for your mate can be a trying and tiring process. Doubt can flood your path at any step of the way. After months of seeking and seemingly not making any progress, even the most confident person can start to lose hope. You may start to wonder if God even wants you to get married at all. There were times when I believed that perhaps marital bliss was for everyone but me.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned during my search for a husband was that I had to be prepared for the possibility that God did not include marriage in His plan for my life. God gently reminded me over and over again that He would always be with me and He was all I needed. A husband could not cure loneliness and satisfy all of my needs because that is something that only God can do.
Another worthwhile lesson learned was that I could not compare myself to others. For one thing, this lead to negative ways of thinking about myself and my worth as a potential mate. I was constantly reminded through scripture that envy is wrong and that God gives as He sees fit. The only thing that I should be earnestly seeking is God’s plan for MY life, even if that means being called to a single life.
If you are searching for God’s will in your life regarding marriage, don’t stop praying about it. God will give you an answer in His time. Whenever you feel discouraged or impatient, call on God and draw even closer to Him. Always be listening for His voice to guide you and be sure to follow it when He speaks. In matters of character judgement and suitability of a potential mate I have avoided making decisions that could have caused me a lifetime of unhappiness by diligently listening for God’s direction and accepting His guidance even when it went against my will.
God has chosen to bless me with a wonderful husband and we know that we
were designed for each other in His plan for our lives. God is good and He
knows our needs and the desires of our hearts. Trust Him with your life,
whether it includes marriage or not, and you will never be disappointed.
The Pitfalls of Online Relationships
Many individuals join sites such as these because they are a "safe" way to
interact with other people. Perhaps they have been hurt in a past relationship,
whether that was an online or in-person relationship. Often times, we tend to wear masks
when we are online. We hide some of the negative things about ourselves.
In order to really get to know someone, you have to meet that person "in person". Although each relationship is
different, here are a few suggestions to help avoid problems that occur with long-term online relationships.
1) Use a site such as this one to find someone in your area if possible,
who you are interested in. Email the individual and see if you have some common interests.
2) After you feel comfortable emailing the individual, ask if they want to talk via a chat program.
Chatting is a good way to see how things go when there is little time to think about your responses. Unlike
an email where you could spend all day thinking about what you want to write. This may or may not be
an accurate representation of the real you.
3) If chatting goes well and you have built up a trust with someone, ask for the person's telephone number. Talking
on the telephone is even better than chat programs because it really tests how well you can communicate
with the other person.
4) After talking on the telephone and building up your interests and trust for the other person, decide
to meet in a public place, preferably with friends. Now you can really see this person face-to-face and decide
where you want to take the relationship from there.
